Who's on Third?

Have you ever wanted to run on the field and choke Shea Hillenbrand after he struck out swinging at a ball in the dirt with two on and one out?

How many times have you looked in the box score to see Wilson Betemit (since traded, thank God) with an 0-5, 3ks, 6 LOB line?

Are you tired of Nomar Garciaparra using bricks for hands and an errant bazooka to launch balls anywhere but 1st base?

Here are the batting averages for the Dodger 3rd baseman this year:
Nomar: .284 (OBP .329)
Tony Abreu .271 (he also played 2nd base)
Shea Hillenbrand .243 (.257 OBP)
Betemit .231
Andy Laroche .217

So what's the solution? Should Laroche, who has been coddled in the farm system, be given the chance full time to form the youngest starting lineup in the history of baseball? I'm sure they could come up with a great nickname. I vote for The Baby Blue Crew.

Or the Dodgers who could go out and sign a free agent third baseman.

Here are the top candidates:

1. A-Rod



Wishful thinking maybe. A-Rod must opt out of his $25 million contract first, then decide to switch leagues and take on NL pitching, plus play in a pitcher's park. The Dodgers have to decide to pony up the cash, possibly upwards of $30 million, so Frank McCourt would have to break his piggy bank. In addition, the Angels would likely be a better candidate especially with the aggressive and free spending Arte Moreno at the helm. Chances of A-Rod playing in a Dodger uniform are as good as the Lakers trading Kobe. Not going to happen. But we can salivate at the possibility of a 3-4-5 of James Loney/A-Rod/Matt Kemp.

Stats: .311, 53 HRs, 151 RBIs

2. Mike Lowell

The drop off from No.1 to No. 2 is shall I say severe. Lowell resurrected his career with the Red Sox this year, but played with the help of the Green Monster less than 300 feet away in right. He could command big dollars as well, but historically he has produced.

2007 stats: .324, 20 HRs, 111 RBIs

3. Pedro Feliz

I would definitely not put this one past Ned Colletti. A former Giant. Hmmm. Why not. Feliz has some pop and can give the Dodgers some of the power they've been missing. Of course Feliz has never had an OBP of over .305.

2007 stats: .249, 20 HRs, 71 RBIs

4. Aaron Boone

Yes. Bleeping Aaron Boone. He's out for the season after having knee surgery and no it's not smart to sign another hobbled player after failing miserably with Randy Wolf and Jason Schmidt, after failing even more miserably with Darren Dreifort. But Boone could be a high reward for a fairly low risk, considering his recent past can't possibly garner him a huge salary. Plus in his only 162 game season in 2002, he hit 26 home runs.

2007 stats: .286, 5 HRs, 28 RBIs (in 69 games)

5. Mike Lamb

A sign that this year's third base crop isn't the most fruitful. Lamb has had a high OBP throughout his career (.370 this year, .361 last year) and hits for average. He may not be the solution, but he could be an upgrade.

2007 stats: .294, 11 HRs, 40 RBIs

Other possibilities:

Corie Koskie (2008 team option)

Abraham Nunez

Tony Batista

Cezar Izturis

Russell Branyan
Mark Bellhorn

2008 free agent 3rd baseman: Chipper Jones, Morgan Ensberg, Troy Glaus, Hank Blalock, Joe Crede

Guys who could be traded for: Miguel Cabrera, Eric Chavez

Or the Dodgers could just bring back random Dodger NORIHIRO NAKAMURA!
(Kleinman's idea)

Two websites that are great for checking out free agents and baseball contracts.

Free agents

Contracts

Are you serious?

This is ridiculous:
• In the offseason, he teaches linguistics at NYU: Isiah Thomas, in avideotaped deposition played Monday at the trial for the $10 million sexual-harassment suit against him, said he thinks it's out of line for a white man to call a black woman "bitch," but thinks it's OK for a black man to do the same.
(From ESPN's Tim Keown)

Trade made Friday:

(I get) Marshawn Lynch

(I give) Donovan McNabb

Needless to say after McNabb's game on Sunday, I'm a little nervous about this one. But I will attribute his stats to the Detroit Lions defense.

Trade almost made:

(I get) Reggie Bush, Tony Gonzales, and Mushin Muhammad (throw in)

(I give) Drew Brees, Kellen Winslow, Brandon Stokely (throw in)

Random Laker of the Day: Mike Schmek

(courtesy of Evan's boss)

Your main boy Elton Brown

Reaction to the signing of Elton Brown has been nothing if not downright enthusiastic.

To top the signing of the great Larry Turner (he will now be referred to as the great or the savior) Mitch Kupchak has given Kobe even more hope that the Lakers will be a title contender.

Here was my initial reaction:

Baller 11 15 21 (10:40:58 am): lakers just signed elton brown
romoballa (10:42:57 am): nice
romoballa (10:43:10 am): now, we got marc gasol and elton brown
romoballa (10:43:13 am): we're so close

And the reaction of others:

greenmachineAZ (04:36:11 pm):
Mitch: Kobe, how good would you say KG is?
Kobe: He's as good as Elton Brand and Kwame Brown combined
Mitch: *Signs Elton Brown*

Just a quick bio on Elton Brown for you:

1. He is not Elton Brand
2. He does not play guard for the Arizona Cardinals, although that Elton Brown also went to Virginia and is his cousin. His first cousin. I'm serious.
3. Played a grand total of 17 minutes in the NBA.
4. Pleaded guilty to a concealed weapon charge in 2005 in an altercation at a mall. USA today article
5. Came in to Virginia at 280 pounds. Has since dropped to 250 pounds
6. Led the league in rebounding. The Greek league.
7. Is not Elton Brand!

Today's random Laker: Elton Brown

Sad Times in Chavez Ravine

I always say the worst day of the year is when the Lakers are bounced out of the playoffs. On that day I usually seclude myself, take no calls, or ims, and snap at the slightest mention of the situation.

Yesterday didn't exactly fit that profile, but it was pretty bad. For the second straight day the Dodgers found a way to shoot themselves in the foot. And they have plenty of weapons and tons of ammunition. Their biggest weapon is the bullpen and the largest bullet in that weapon is Jonathon Broxton.

As Vin Scully noted, the past two games for Broxton have gone like this: First batter, single, second batter, home run, next three batters out. Each game, 22 pitches. Each game, came in with a lead. Each game, the Dodgers lost.

Totals for the past four losses: 15 runs, 44 hits, 32 runners left on base
As a result, I haven't opened the paper in two days, knowing the front page of sports will surely have a picture of one of the Dodgers with their head down.

I have trouble turning on SportsCenter and hearing division race talk. I can't stand that two other NL West teams who appeared inferior earlier in the year are both likely to make the postseason.

Yesterday was a tough day.

Yesterday I realized there would be no games after the Dodgers/Giants series.

Yesterday was the end of the road for 2007.

And frankly it sucks.

Check it out: Great and disturbing column from the LA Times on Dodger Talk

http://www.latimes.com/sports/columnists/la-sp-plaschke19sep19,1,7577245.column?coll=la-headlines-sports-columnists

Random LA Dodger of the Day: Steve Schmoll

Thanks for Playing

Ladies and gentleman...your 2007 Los Angeles Dodgers.

A doubleheader sweep by the Colorado Rockies in Coors Field where the Dodgers managed one run and left a small country left on base in the first game, then gave away a 3-0, and 8-5 lead in the second game, signaled the end of the season.

The Dodgers were listless and played like a team who was ready for a vacation. There was no fight. There was no courage, no bravado, no heroics. This isn't your '88 Dodgers.
With all the good young players the Dodgers have, the future looks bright, but the end of this season appears dim.

Food for thought:
bigtmoney032 (04:30:52 pm): would u pay for $20 dollar beers (the bigbeers) to compensate arods salary?

Just for the hell of it: Today's random Dodger is Henry Rodriguez

Coming up in a blog post this week: a list of possible free agent third baseman the Dodgers could sign.

The Beer Rule

One of the longest, most unwinnable arguments you can have in sports centers around the basic question: What is a sport?
I have the simple yet still complex answer: The Beer Rule (You can consume no more than 2 beers while still being effective.)
If you can play effectively while drinking more than 2 beers, it is not a sport. It's a game.
Yes, ESPN has a lot of programming. No, just because it is on ESPN does not mean it's a sport.
Remember, the E in ESPN originally stood for entertainment (Note: officially ESPN no longer stands for anything and is not an acronym.)
The spelling bee, bowling, darts, golf, poker, and Stump the Schwab are not sports.

Let's examine some of the more controversial sports, especially for those of you who can hit a 9-iron after taking a beer bong.

Golf: John Daly. Need I say any more. Instead of preparing for a tournament he went to the casino the day before and then finished in the top 5 in the first round. One of the game's best players is cigarrette smoking alcoholic, who probably couldn't run the 100 meters in less than three minutes.

Beers consumable while still effective: 7
Result: Game

Baseball: The sport calls tubbies David Wells, Matt Stairs, and Cecil Fielder its own and acknowledges the bar hopping A.J. Pierzinskyi as a good player. But those guys are the exception. While some players who couldn't resist the buffett possess the ability to hit for power and others could throw a perfect game hung over (Wells), overall athleticism is important for most facets of the game (i.e. running, sliding, jumping to make a catch, fielding).

Beers consumable while still effective: 2
Result: Sport

Poker: Any game that requires absolutely no standing is automatically highly questionable. Drinking at the table is not only allowed but encouraged. Yes, it requires focus and in some cases hand to eye coordination, like when you've had too many beers and you have to keep your cards away from the other players. But taking a shit sometimes requires focus also, and that has yet to be televised.

Beers consumable while still effective: As many as possible before either losing your chips or passing out
Result: Game

Random Laker of the Day: Swen Nater

Can we get Mackovic back?

Apparently www.firemikestoops.com is already taken.
I guess someone beat me to the punch.
Although the website is owned by footballhotseat.com and there's no mention of the coach soon to be looking for work or the man soon to be called former Arizona coach Mike Stoops.
As if three seasons without a bowl weren't enough, a 1-2 start with a home loss to the vaunted New Mexico Lobos should make sure Stoops will not roam the sidelines, berate officials, and fail to produce any semblance of a disciplined football team for a fifth year at Arizona.

I'll start with this conversation which puts how I feel about this year's team into perspective.

hckyman610: dude, UA is horrible
romoballa: no way
romoballa: i thought they played great
romoballa: new mexico is top 10 right
hckyman610: you're shitting me
romoballa: lol
hckyman610: no, UNM is in like the bottom tier of the WCC or whatever conference they're in
romoballa: i mean startin a season 1-2 where ur only win is against a 1-AA school is alright
romoballa: i think we'll make a bowl
hckyman610: HAHAHAHAHAHA
romoballa: if we got this close to unm, i think we'll beat usc
hckyman610: i can't wait to see stoops canned

If there was an Art Shell face in college football, Stoops should adopt it. The yelling and screaming antics on the field don't make up for a lack of preparation at practice. Like Stoops, the team appears on edge, continuously making dumb mistakes.
How else can you explain two fumbles, a wild interception on the last drive when Willie Tuitama looked like he was trying to get a touchdown from the 20 yard line on every play, and 9 penalties for 96 yards, including an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on Stoops and his staff.

When does basketball season start?

And just for the hell of it: Jerome Kersey (random Laker)
courtesy of Jason Kleinman

That's Wassup

For those who don't already know, I've begun training for the LA Marathon on March 2. Call it a post college crisis or an attempt to shed beer pounds up front.
Me and my buddy Buller are doing a 37 week program in 30 weeks and are currently on our 5th week. Well, we've already skipped two weeks due to the lack of time. But they were easy weeks. Anyways, I will be updating my progress periodically in this space. Thus far, the longest run we've done was five miles, but we're going six on Sunday.
As Buller put it, we're actually working out for a reason for the first time since we ran, lifted, and practiced for basketball games in high school.
The hardest part so far hasn't been the miles but the few times I've run in the morning with the sun baking my body. Absolutely exhausting.
It will be a challenge, most likely vastly different from any other physical challenge I've ever gone through. On March 2, I hope it will be worth it.
To see our schedule, click here

Props: To Jason David, who gave up three touchdowns to Indianapolis but had the courage and the balls to sit at the podium and respectfully answer the media's questions. Taking responsibility is unfortunately seldom seen among today's athletes. Jason David was refreshing.

Sweet to Sour: Rick Ankiel was baseball's feel good story of the year. The former pitcher, who once battled embarrassing control problems was back in the Majors as a hitter and was becoming a major contributor in the St. Louis Cardinals run toward the playoffs. He already has nine home runs, including two today. Now, the NY Daily News reports he was given HGH by a Florida pharmacy in 2004. Too bad baseball can't shed the drug era and too bad Ankiel will be in the news for the near future for all the wrong reasons.

Can't Wait: for Prison Break. The show returns this Monday, and though it should have ended last season, the success of the first two full seasons has propelled the show to a third. Here's to continued entertainment and staying away from the decline Entourage has suffered.

Running to Beijing

The USA team in the Tournament of Americas was nothing short of impressive. Even for my skepticism of the direction of USA basketball and basketball in general in this country, this particular group of stars showed that they could play together, make perimeter shots, and completely dominate their lesser known counterparts.
I would, however, caution that the opponents in this tournament are inferior to whom this new Dream Team will face.
Yes, the same Puerto Rico team that beat the USA a few years ago got spanked by 40 points, but some of the European teams are much improved. Argentina, with their full complement of players will serve as a big-time challenge as well.
If all players decide to participate (which never happens but it's fun to think about) here are the USA's toughest potential opponents.

Argentina:
Starting 5
PG: Pepe Sanchez (Formerly of the 76ers)
SG: Manu Ginobilli (Spurs)
SF: Andres Nocioni (Bulls)
PF: Luis Scola (Rockets)
C: Fabricio Oberto (Spurs)

Bench: Carlos Delfino (Raptors)
Pablo Prigioni
Walter Hermann (Bobcats)
Ruben Wolkyowski (formerly of the Sonics)

France:
Starting 5:
PG: Tony Parker (Spurs)
SG: Mickael Pietrus (Warriors)
SF: Boris Diaw (Suns)
PF: Ronny Turiaf (Lakers)
C: Johan Petro (Sonics)

Bench:
Mickael Gelabale (Sonics)
Joakim Noah (Bulls)
Yakhouba Diawara (Nuggets)

Spain:
Starting 5:
PG: Jose Calderon (Raptors)
SG: Juan Carlos Navarro (Grizzlies)
SF: Rudy Fernandez (Blazers)
PF: Jorge Garbajosa (Raptors)
C: Pau Gasol (Grizzlies)

Bench: Sergio Rodriguez (Blazers)
Marc Gasol (Lakers)
Fran Vazquez (Magic)

Serbia
Starting 5:
PG: Milos Vujanic (rights held by Suns)
SG: Marko Jaric (TWolves)
SF: Peja Stojakovic (Hornets)
PF: Darko Milicic (Grizzlies)
C: Nenad Krstic (Nets)

Bench: Zarko Cabarkapa (Warriors)
Mile Ilic (Nets)
Vladimir Radmanovic (Lakers)
Jelly Rebraca (Clippers)
Peja Drobjnak

Slovenia
Starting 5:
PG:Beno Udrih (Spurs)
SG: Sasha Vujacic (Lakers)
SF: Bostjan Nachbar (Nets)
PF: Rasho Nesterovic (Raptors)
C: Primos Brezec (Bobcats)

Bench:
Uros Slokar (Raptors)

Lithuania
Starting 5
PG: Sarunas Jasikevicius (Warriors)
SG: Renaldas Seibutas (Mavs)
SF: Linas Kleiza (Nuggets)
PF: Darius Songaila (Wizards)
C: Zydrunas Ilgauskas (Cavs)

Bench: Martynus Andriuskevicius (Bulls)

Brazil
Starting 5
PG: Leandro Barbosa (Suns)
SG: Marcus Vinicius (Hornets)
SF: Anderson Verejao (Cavs)
PF: Rafael Araujo (Jazz)
C: Nene (Nuggets)


Others to consider:
China: Yao Ming, Yi Jianlian, Sun Yue, Wang Zhizhi
Russia: Andrei Kirilenko, Viktor Khryapa, Yaroslav Korolev
Italy: Andrea Bargnani, Marco Belinelli
Canada: Steve Nash, Samuel Dalembert, Jamaal Magloire

...and of course Latvia: Andris Biedrins (Warriors), Kaspars Kambala (former UNLV star), Raitis Grafs (former Valparaiso star)

Some teams can be compromised of all NBA players and enough have at least a starting five. Basketball is a global game and I only wish that these players decide to play in the Olympics and make that tournament more competitive than the one we just witnessed.

Who's the Worst GM in LA?

Incompetence.

The term is harsh when describing a person's job performance. Except in the case of Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak and Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti. Then it might be an understatement.
From the Shammond Williams signing to throwing cash at injured pitchers, it's safe to say that Tiiimmmy or Jiiimmmmy could do a better job. But who's worse, the guy who no one respects or the guy who signs so many former Giants, people within the organization are afraid to tell him he's no longer the Giants GM.
Let's go to the Tale of the Tape

Worst Signing:
Colletti: Jason Schmidt 3 years $47 million, stats: 6 games, 1-4, 6.31 ERA, out for the season
Kupchak: Vladimir Radmanovic 5 years, $30 million, stats: 55 games, 6.6 games, 3.3 rebounds, one shoulder injury while snowboarding
Verdict: While signing an aging starter who by all indications, including his stats and loss of velocity, was destined to be a bum was bad, the signing of the "Space Cadet" a gunner with a shoulder problem who doesn't play any defense is considerably worse.

Honorable mention, Coletti: Roberto Hernandez, Mark Hendrickson, and Brett Tomko
Honorable mention, Kupchak: Shammond Williams, Smush Parker


Worst trade:
Colletti: Trading for Wilson Betemit
Kupchak: Caron Butler and Chucky Atkins for Kwame Brown
Verdict: Since I couldn't off the top of my head think of Colletti's worst trade and Kupchak's came rushing to my mind faster than a brain freeze, the win goes to Kupchak. Plus, no matter how many times Betemit struck out with runner in scoring position and no matter that he hovered around the Mendoza line for most of the season, nothing beats having the small hands of Kwame Brown to catch entry passes.

Dumbest move:
Colletti: Continuously signing one former Giant after another, Mark Sweeney, the aforementioned Schmidt, the awful Tomko. Who's next Barry Bonds?
Kupchak: Not giving Kobe help
Verdict: Jason and Kobe Bryant. The best point guard in the league and the best shooting guard in the league. That would have been nice. Naw, let's hold on to a 19 year old project who can't run the floor and looks like he's on the verge of crying every five minutes. O ya, and Kobe talks shit about him on someone's camera phone.

Claim to fame:
Colletti: According to Wikipedia, he authored a book in 1983 detailing the Purdue-Notre Dame rivalry, called Golden Glory; also signing baseball's version of John Daly.
Kupchak: Presided over the fall of a dynasty, was used as a puppet by the son of the drunk, womanizer we call our owner, and was born in a city called Hicksville.
Verdict: Was Kupchak in the back of that car in San Diego when Jerry Buss was pulled over? Is Colletti trying to win this thing with the Wells signing? No matter what Colletti does to make sure the Dodgers pitching continues to get worse and the hitting remains listless, Kupchak will always be there to hesitate on a good trade and not listen to his superstar or common sense.

Why I hate Barry Bonds

In light of my recent interview with National Public Radio from the right field bleachers in Dodger Stadium (to listen click here and then on the first link titled "Dodger Fans Weigh In on Barry Bonds") I'd like to outline some of the reasons why Barry Bonds does indeed represent "everything that's wrong with baseball, America, and the world."

1. Bonds is a cheater. Granted a lot of other baseball players used steroids and HGH but a lot of people in the 80s used cocaine and that didn't make it OK.
2. He pretended he didn't know that the cream or the clear were steroids. Riiiight. And I didn't realize there was any alcohol in that vodka.
3. He's an arrogant jerk. At a picnic for the Giants' families, Bonds asked the son of one player who his favorite player was. "My dad he responded."
"Why your dad," Bonds asked. "He doesn't even play."
4. He hasn't been found guilty in the court of law but neither was OJ. Sometimes the court of law doesn't tell the truth. Sometimes good lawyers or the terminology of the law make justice difficult if not downright impossible.
5. Because according to Game of Shadows "On most mornings in Scottsdale, before leaving to work out, Bonds would grab his "man bag,"which was full of what seemed to be medications, and summon (Greg) Anderson. "I've got to go talk to him for a minute," Bonds would say, and then the two men would go into the master bedroom and close the door."
6. Anderson, Bonds trainer and "friend" sits in jail because Bonds won't relieve him by telling the truth.
7. Bonds isn't just a cheater on the field, he's a cheater off the field.
Game of Shadows: "He put his hand around (mistress [Kim Bell's] throat, pressed her against the wall, and whispered, "If you ever f-----' pull some s--- like that again I'll kill you, do you understand me?"

Later, Bonds told her: "You have to do something for me. You need to disappear."

"What do you mean?" Bell said. "For how long?"

"Did I f----- stutter?" Bonds replied.
8. The notion that people should cheer Bonds for breaking the record is ridiculous. Why should people cheer for the holder of the most cherished record in sports to be a tainted, ungrateful person.
9. Lastly, Bonds is a Giant and an ASU Sun Devil, so if the other reasons aren't enough to realize he's a bad person, that seals the deal.

How can you like this guy?

I don't think that anyone is inherently a bad person. Recently that theory has been tested. Pac-Man Jones, Tim Donaghy, Lindsey Lohan, all come to mind.

For the most part, those people have self destructed. Pac-Man put himself in a bad situation, and as a result people around him were severely hurt. Tim Donaghy had a gambling problem and got involved with the mob, but apparently in this country gambling can be deemed a disease. Lindsey Lohan...well she's just an idiot.

But Michael Vick needs his own category. Yes, there's a small chance that he will be innocent. I was present at Hassan Adams DUI trial where he was acquitted. Let me assure you from the evidence that was presented, he was not "innocent."

Even if Vick is acquitted as well, the accusations against him, the drowning, hanging, electrocuting, and further torture and killing of dogs will not go away. And they shouldn't. Being involved in any of those actions makes me want to change my initial thinking.
Michael Vick is simply not a good person.

This from former Green Bay safety LeRoy Butler, in an interview with Bob McGinn of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel puts it best:

"My 7-year-old [Danielle] loves animals. We were out shopping for a dog. We were in the car, and I can't listen to sports radio anymore because she heard how they drowned and electrocuted some animals. I looked back there at a red light and she had tears in her eyes. She said, 'I don't understand why somebody would drown a dog.' Now I had to explain it as a parent. I said that sometimes people do stuff that is so terrible that you've got to offset that guy by doing something good. She just kept wiping her tears. She was really bothered by it. It's a stupid thing to do, obviously. But these guys get so arrogant, they don't think about it. You got $30 million, $40 million in the bank, they're on top of the world, no remorse and no one can stop them.''

Random thoughts and ramblings

• Today I realized I’m part of two of the most hated professions: I’m a member of the media and a part time referee. I think the next step is to become the President of the United States, or a coach/manager in Philadelphia.

• I heard that Javaris Crittenton may be ahead of Jordan Farmar on the depth chart next year, and if the Lakers sign a veteran pg, Farmar would fall down to third.

• My reaction, if statement is true: That’s preposterous. Let’s take a guy who played well in the playoffs and knows the triangle offense as good as anyone, plus plays with passion, and let’s replace him with a guy who had a good summer league game.

• On top of that, Phil already has trouble playing rookies, so I don’t think Crittenton will see too much time on the floor.

• Just for the hell of it: Toby Bailey played 31 minutes for the Warriors: 14 points and six rebounds

• Greg Oden is NOT a bust. But his lack of offensive skills are becoming apparent.

• Kevin Durant is NOT a bust. But his poor shot selection and tendency to hang around the perimeter are becoming apparent.
• And the award for coolest name goes to:

5. LeBryan Nash 6’7’’ 210 Dallas Lincoln HS (Cedar Hill, TX)

Nash didn’t dominate the camp, but no one really expected an 8th grader to work wonders against players three years older. That’s right, Nash, a 6’7’’ small forward with good athleticism and a solid build, is not slated to graduate high school until 2011. Because he can physically dominate games against players his age, Nash’s skills are not very well developed, but he certainly has a ton of potential and is worth keeping an eye on.

-- NBAdraft.net

A combination of Kobe, Lebron, and Steve Nash. Brilliant!

• Placido Polanco has the biggest and most strange looking head I have ever seen

• What does it say about the state of second baseman in the AL when Placido Polanco is the starting second baseman

• I like the All Star Game format, it adds a little bit of spice. It’d be nice to see the NL win one though, especially if LA wants to host the first game of the World Series

• Trying to make himself be a feel good story: Barry Bonds

• Actual feel good story: Cancer survivor and Lakers guard Coby Karl

And finally: If Mark Stein is right and Derek Fisher returns to the Lakers, some of the ridiculousness and incompetence of the Laker offseason will be forgotten. And I will buy the Derek Fisher jersey I’ve wanted but couldn’t buy until D Fish retired.

2007 NBA Mock Draft:

No. 1 Portland Trailblazers

Greg Oden C Ohio State

The conservative approach calls for 35 year old center Greg Oden. Although he’s clearly not the more polished of the top two players in the draft, Oden appears to be the consensus No. 1 pick. Personally, I’d take Kevin Durant, who’s proven that he can carry a team on his back and has an NBA ready arsenal of moves with a nasty competitive streak Oden has yet to show. If the Blazers bomb this pick, the Sam Bowie blunder will come back to life. At this point, it’s hard to imagine they can go wrong with either Oden or Durant. It feels similar to Olajuwon/Jordan in 1984. There’s a good chance both of these players barring injuries will be Hall-of-Famers.

Best case scenario: David Robinson

Worst case scenario: Sam Bowie

No. 2 Seattle Supersonics

Kevin Durant F Texas

The long line of great Seattle Centers includes Ervin Johnson, Jim McIlvaine, Patrick Ewing (right before his knees buckled and he fell over), Vladimir Stepania, Johan Petro, Robert Swift, and of course the great Saer Sane.

There’s no way Seattle can screw the draft up this time, luckily for them. There are no awful centers to choose from because Durant will drop into their lap. Even if Rashard Lewis leaves, which he will, considering he will eventually be a poor man’s Durant, Seattle’s lineup may look something like this.

PG: Luke Ridnour

SG: Ray Allen

SF: Kevin Durant

PF: Nick Collison

C: Insert terrible past draft pick

Even with no one at center, that’s a formidable scoring lineup that can shoot and run the floor. Defense, of course is a whole different question.

Best case scenario: Dirk Nowitzki

Worst case scenario: Lewis or Glenn Robinson

No. 3 Atlanta Hawks

Al Horford F Florida

With the No. 3 pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, the Hawks select Chris Paul. Wait no, do over, the Hawks select Deron Williams. OK, can’t do that either anymore. In Billy Knight’s defense, maybe he didn’t know they needed a point guard. I mean Tyronn Lue defended AI in the 2001 NBA Finals, although AI famously stepped over him and glared at his body on the ground. If the Hawks could work out a deal for Luke Ridnour, they’d finally make a good move, but I can’t figure out why the Sonics would want to trade Ridnour and leave Earl Watson as the starting pg.

Best case scenario: Elton Brand

Worst case scenario: Drew Gooden

No. 4 Memphis Grizzlies

Mike Conley G Ohio State

As great as Jerry West is as a GM, he did inexplicably reach for Troy Bell and Dahntay Jones. Even with West gone, the Grizzlies will reach for Mike Conley, who will be a decent but unspectacular NBA point guard. On the bright side, he’s a pass first guard who can get in the lane and can finish with floaters. On the down side, he has to drive because he can’t shoot. With great shooters on the perimeter and Greg Oden down low, Conley’s job at Ohio State was significantly helped.

Best case scenario: Tony Parker

Worst case scenario: Eric Snow

No. 5 Boston Celtics

Yi Jianlian F China

The knock on Yi: experience. So he didn’t play at the college level, but he held his own at the World Championships, drawing praise from Dwight Howard. This kid is not just a workout wonder. He’s actually played in big games unlike Darko or Skita. The key for the Celtics will be, can they provide the right support group to make Yi feel comfortable? Why not take a page out of the Red Sox book and bring one of Yi’s teammates from China along and make him the 12^th man? Okajima has proven to be not just Dice-K’s boy but also a reliable bullpen presence and that might not happen in Yi’s case but his production will increase. Remember how homesick Dirk was at first with the Mavs?

Best case scenario: The small forward version of Yao

Worst case scenario: Skita

No. 6 Milwaukee Bucks

Jeff Green F Georgetown

Assuming the Bucks resign Mo Williams, they’ll be looking for depth and athleticism. Bobby Simmons will be returning from injury, while Charlie Villanueva and Andrew Bogut continue to develop nicely. Jeff Green’s numbers at Georgetown don’t do justice to how good he really is because of the Hoyas style of play. He’s a do it all kind of player and will be able to contribute right away.

Best case scenario: Antawn Jamison

Worst case scenario: Jared Jeffries

No.7 Minnesota Timberwolves

Brandan Wright F North Carolina

Let’s assume for the purposes of my happiness that KG is traded to the Lakers and the T-Wolves are in full rebuilding mode. Wright’s tremendous upside potential is as high as anyone else’s in the draft. So what if he can’t shoot from past 5 feet and looks skinnier than Tyson Chandler. Kevin McHale will have all the time in the world to wait since he’s not looking at another playoff run for the next decade. Now that they finally have a draft pick, there’s nothing else to do except draft a bust.

Best case scenario: Chris Bosh

Worst case scenario: Keon Clark

No. 8 Charlotte Bobcats

Joakim Noah F Florida

How much pull will Michael Jordan have in regard to who the Bobcats choose? Let’s hope for the Bobcats sake, Jordan will be gambling on something other than the NBA draft. If I were Bobcats management, I’d buy him a plane to ticket to Vegas for Thursday night at 7 Eastern. If they follow the trend of their recent drafts, you can bet they’ll take a proven college player off a winning team. Joakim Noah and Corey Brewer both fit that philosophy. If Gerald Wallace resigns, Noah is the pick, if he leaves, they go with Brewer.

Best case scenario: Dennis Rodman

Worst case scenario: Stromile Swift

No. 9 Chicago Bulls

Spencer Hawes C Washington

If any team needs to trade their pick, it’s the Bulls. With a young nucleus of Hinrich, Gordon, Deng and Thomas, along with Thabo Selafosha and Chris Duhon, and a solid role player in Andres Nocioni it’s time to trade Ben Wallace for a proven veteran to put this team over the top. Subscribing to the theory that teams get better the longer they play together might actually be a good idea in this case as well. If they must draft Spencer Hawes would be a good fit. He’s a little soft, but his post moves are as developed as any big man in a long time.

Best case scenario: Rik Smits

Worst case scenario: Joel Przybilla

No. 10 Sacramento Kings

Julian Wright F Kansas

Wright’s stock has been plummeting recently, but his versatility and energy could provide a spark for a team desperately in need of one. If they move Ron Artest, Wright could be in the starting lineup before long.

Best case scenario: Andre Iguodala

Worst case scenario: Josh Childress

Food for thought:

Eight freshman left school early for the NBA draft after the first full year of the minimum age rule in the NBA. It’s safe to say that the majority of those eight would have left after high school. Kevin Durant, Greg Oden, Brandan Wright, Spencer Hawes, Thaddeus Young would all have left and Mike Conley, Dequan Cook, and Javaris Crittendon would all have considered leaving as well.

By comparison, only two freshman, Tyrus Thomas and Shawne Williams left after their freshman year in last season’s draft.

Think the Darko and Skita have scared off suitors. Only one international player is projected to go in the top 15 picks and four or five are projected to go in the first round.

Three went in the top 13 last year and six in the first round. Ten more went in the second round.

Three also went in the 2005 draft (including Andrew Bogut) and six in the first round.

It's nervous time

I'm officially scared.

A few days from now I might be waking up in a cold sweat from a nightmare that goes something along the lines of: The Los Angeles Lakers trade Kobe Bryant to the Chicago Bulls for Ben Gordon, Luol Deng and insert long European name here.
I'm the last person to think Kobe will actually be traded.

A. Jerry Buss might not know basketball, but he knows entertainment. There is a reason he's riding around with 23 year old girls. There's no way he'll take away Hollywood Kobe from the best place to take advantage of his recently increasing mouth, his superstar status, and his on court dominance.

B. As Bill Simmons would say, the Lakers can't get much more than 60 cents on the dollar for Kobe right now. Other teams know that he wants out and that Mitch Kupchak has been heavily criticized for constantly not pulling the trigger.

C. Most of the Eastern Conference teams just don't have the assets to make the kind of deal LA is looking for. Aside from Lebron (not gonna happen) D. Wade (ditto), and Gilbert Arenas (intriguing but unlikely). Paul Pierce is past his prime, so I won't include him in the discussion.

But here's what got me thinking. Stephen A. Smith was on SportsCenter and was asked if it would be better for the Lakers to trade Kobe before or after the draft.
Either before or during, he said.

Since the NBA draft is one of my favorite, if not favorite, days of the year, I can only imagine David Stern walking up to the podium, and announcing with that sly grin he always wears on his face: "There has been a trade..."

Then he waits the obligatory five seconds for the New York crowd to gasp, hoot, and holler, after which Stern leans back from the mike, leans back in, and goes, the Los Angeles Lakers trade...
At that point, I'll be either knocked unconscious from leaping up and hitting the ceiling on my garage, pissing in my pants, or reaching for the knife.

What if Bill Plaschke is right? (He's just not that into you)

What if Kobe doesn't love us anymore? What if he's tired of LA, tired of the losing, tired of having to carry a team on his shoulders as he once wanted to do?

What if he's just gone off the edge like some of the other stars in this city?

What if he does actually get traded. We will miss him. We've known him since he was a teenager, watched him grow up in front of our eyes. We watched him airball key shots against the Jazz in the playoffs, then grow up and drop 28 on the Pacers in the Finals with an injured ankle, score 81 against the Raptors, and do things no other player in the NBA could do.

The thought of seeing Kobe in another uniform is flat out scary.

Let's just hope that when Stern says the Lakers have made a trade, the first words out of his mouth will be Andrew Bynum and Kwame Brown.

Hate em or love em

You know those players who make you clench your fists or wrinkle your forehead in anger. The ones who make your blood boil because you just hate them so much. Maybe one season, they killed your fantasy team. Maybe they are archenemies of the real team you root for. Maybe you have no real reason, but the mention of that player's name or his appearance on your TV screen make the obscenities come rushing out of our mouth.
Thanks to Big Softie's question, here is my list of players (non-Lakers, Dodgers, Cowboys) I hate and love the most.


NBA:
Hate
1. Rasheed Wallace
2. Ricky Davis
3. Ruben Patterson
4. Sebastian Telfair
5. Tim Thomas

Love
1. Derek Fisher
2. Robert Horry
3. Gilbert Arenas
4. Baron Davis
5. Manu Ginobilli

Baseball
Hate
1. Barry Bonds
2. Milton Bradley
3. JD Drew
4. Kenny Rogers
5. Gary Sheffield

Love
1. Paul LoDuca
2. Mike Piazza
3. Jimmy Rollins
4. David Ortiz
5. Alex Cora

NFL:
Hate
1. PacMan Jones
2. Michael Vick
3. Jeff Garcia
4. Mike Vanderjagt
5. Corey Dillon

Love
1. Brett Favre
2. Matt Leinart
3. Reggie Bush
4. Warrick Dunn
5. Marvin Harrison

Is Jermaine O'Neal the answer for the Lakers?

It is now safe to say that the majority of Laker fans have thrown in the towel on Andrew Bynum and his "tremendous upside potential" as well as his knack for picking up two fouls in two minutes.

Lamar Odom and his errant outside shooting has turned off a lot of people recently as well, despite his pre-injury dominance early in the year.
So the answer to Kobe's pleas and the man who will bring the Lakers back to a championship contender is Jermaine O'Neal.

Right?

Here's what you should know about JO before we anoint him the savior to the Lakers woes.
For a man who stands 6-11 and weighs 260 pounds, he doesn't exactly get easy baskets. His shooting percentage last season was a horrible 43.6 percent. By contrast Odom shot 46.8 percent.
Even in 2003-04 when JO averaged 20 and 10, he shot under 44 percent, making JO very AI like. As for my preconceived notion of JO being a complete black hole when he gets the ball, the assist numbers back it up. Among elite power forwards JO’s assists per 40 minutes (2.7) are frankly terrible (see Tim Duncan 4.0, Kevin Garnett 4.2, Dirk 3.7, Carmelo 4.0, Elton Brand 3.1, Pau Gaso 3.8, Boozer 3.4). Aside from averaging 3.0 in that category two seasons ago, his assist numbers are even worse (2.1, 2.4, and 2.2 in the 3 previous years).

In addition JO’s PER (Player efficiency rating according to ESPN’s John Hollinger) was 18.86 was 45^th in the NBA.

Just so you don’t completely dismiss Hollinger’s ratings, the top 5 in PER were Dwayne Wade, Dirk, Yao, Tim Duncan, and Kobe.

Odom by contrast was 89^th at 16.20 but had a PER of over 20 in the playoffs.

So what the Lakers would be getting is an inefficient power forward who hogs the ball and can’t shoot straight, but he’d be taking shots away from Kobe.

And all we have to give up is the guy who defers to Kobe (maybe too much at times) but is a good passer, plays defense, hustles, and hasn’t complained about anything except being traded out of LA.

Plus a 19 year old 7-footer who’s only played 2 years in the NBA and maybe a first round pick.

Let’s hope Mitch Kupchak looks at the fine print before making a rash decision on getting Kobe a sidekick.

I’m all for making a deal and helping Kobe, but the last time the Lakers rushed to make a trade for a power forward, they got Kwame Brown, and we’ve all seen how that’s turned out.

Relax: Kobe's threats are just that

Kobe Bryant is not going anywhere.

We all woke up today to the news that Kobe has demanded a trade. The shock around LA and the world (including London where my buddy Jason heard the news) could have been similar to when the country found out JFK had been assassinated.

LA Times story

Already, every player in the NBA finds himself in a trade rumor. Kobe to the Rockets for T-Mac and Yao, Kobe for Lebron, Kobe for Wade, Kobe to the Knicks.

Even this from my buddy Evan:

“ I think kobe is going to become roger Clemens after this contract is up. He just signs at the all-star break with whatever team needs his services.”

He signs a bunch of 10 day contracts drops 80 points a few times then signs another 10 day contract with another team.”

But people are jumping the gun. All of these “sorry man” and “enjoy rebuilding without kobe” message are for naught. This is not an Allen Iverson trade me situation. Kobe does not wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s calculating, shrewd, manipulative.

When he wants something, he doesn’t come out and just say it. He makes everyone else feel guilty. He shifts the blame. He puts pressure on others to do the work. So when the Lakers promised him they’d be a competitor and they didn’t deliver (see Caron Butler deal, and signings of Vlad Rad and Shammond Williams) Kobe was incensed.

He couldn’t just let the Lakers die out of the spotlight. In a playoff scenario, when no one cares about any of the last four teams involved, Kobe inserted himself back into the main focus of the NBA.

‘Hey remember me, I AM the best player in the NBA, give me some attention.’

With an ego the size of Vlad Rad’s contract, Kobe wanted everyone to know it was not his fault the Lakers lost in the first round. It was the fault of Jerry (I’m hammered and drive, while banging 25 year olds) Buss, Mitch Kupchak, and the sorry cast of losers Kobe referred to as teammates.

Kobe’s right though. Put the Cavs roster sans Lebron on the Lakers with Kobe and you’re looking at 10 more wins and a date with someone other than the Suns.

When Kobe became a free agent and talked about playing with the Clippers or the Suns before resigning with the Lakers, it was the same idea. He wanted to see how much people wanted him. He wanted to be reassured that the Lakers would bend over and kiss his ass, and do anything he wanted.

This is a similar situation. The Lakers have heard the threats and you better believe that moves are on the horizon. They will go out and sign who they have to sign, trade who they have to trade, and they will give Kobe his sidekick and prove to him that when he says something, it’s important to them.

And in the end, Kobe will remain a Laker and the city will once again live in peace.

Still the drama is certainly disconcerting.

Regardless of what happens, Levy summed up the day perfectly in a text message.

“Life sux.”

P.S. if Bill Simmons No. 1 possible trade (column) ever happens with Kobe going to the Suns, put me on suicide watch.

Why did Brian Cook throw his warmups at Phil?

1. He wanted to prove that he's not one dimensional. He can pass too.

2. He was upset because Phil said at least John Amaechi plays both ways.

3. He was auditioning for Cooks gone wild with the shirt toss.

4. He's jealous that Phil spends more time with Andrew Bynum.

5. Phil didn't pass the blunt at their "practice session."

6. He tried to tell Phil that his warmups didn't smell bad.

7. No one has tried to attack his coach since Latrell Spreewell.

8. Phil made like Shavlik Randolph and said "Don't bring your gayness on me" and Cook responded with a Lebron-like "I'm trustworthy" as he threw the warmups in frustration


Believe it or not, someone made a Brian Cook mix

Random LA Lakers

1.Reggie Jordan
2. Doug Christie
3. J.R. Reid
4. Mike Penberthy
5. Joe Crispin
6. Sam Jacobson
7. Pig Miller
8. Bryon Russell
9. Kareem Rush
10. Anthony Peeler
11. Sedale Threatt
12. George Lynch
13. Derek Strong
14. George McCloud
15. Shea Seals
16. Dennis Rodman
17. John Celestand
18. Greg Foster
19. Mitch Richmond
20. Coach Randy Pfund