Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Who's the Worst GM in LA?

Incompetence.

The term is harsh when describing a person's job performance. Except in the case of Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak and Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti. Then it might be an understatement.
From the Shammond Williams signing to throwing cash at injured pitchers, it's safe to say that Tiiimmmy or Jiiimmmmy could do a better job. But who's worse, the guy who no one respects or the guy who signs so many former Giants, people within the organization are afraid to tell him he's no longer the Giants GM.
Let's go to the Tale of the Tape

Worst Signing:
Colletti: Jason Schmidt 3 years $47 million, stats: 6 games, 1-4, 6.31 ERA, out for the season
Kupchak: Vladimir Radmanovic 5 years, $30 million, stats: 55 games, 6.6 games, 3.3 rebounds, one shoulder injury while snowboarding
Verdict: While signing an aging starter who by all indications, including his stats and loss of velocity, was destined to be a bum was bad, the signing of the "Space Cadet" a gunner with a shoulder problem who doesn't play any defense is considerably worse.

Honorable mention, Coletti: Roberto Hernandez, Mark Hendrickson, and Brett Tomko
Honorable mention, Kupchak: Shammond Williams, Smush Parker


Worst trade:
Colletti: Trading for Wilson Betemit
Kupchak: Caron Butler and Chucky Atkins for Kwame Brown
Verdict: Since I couldn't off the top of my head think of Colletti's worst trade and Kupchak's came rushing to my mind faster than a brain freeze, the win goes to Kupchak. Plus, no matter how many times Betemit struck out with runner in scoring position and no matter that he hovered around the Mendoza line for most of the season, nothing beats having the small hands of Kwame Brown to catch entry passes.

Dumbest move:
Colletti: Continuously signing one former Giant after another, Mark Sweeney, the aforementioned Schmidt, the awful Tomko. Who's next Barry Bonds?
Kupchak: Not giving Kobe help
Verdict: Jason and Kobe Bryant. The best point guard in the league and the best shooting guard in the league. That would have been nice. Naw, let's hold on to a 19 year old project who can't run the floor and looks like he's on the verge of crying every five minutes. O ya, and Kobe talks shit about him on someone's camera phone.

Claim to fame:
Colletti: According to Wikipedia, he authored a book in 1983 detailing the Purdue-Notre Dame rivalry, called Golden Glory; also signing baseball's version of John Daly.
Kupchak: Presided over the fall of a dynasty, was used as a puppet by the son of the drunk, womanizer we call our owner, and was born in a city called Hicksville.
Verdict: Was Kupchak in the back of that car in San Diego when Jerry Buss was pulled over? Is Colletti trying to win this thing with the Wells signing? No matter what Colletti does to make sure the Dodgers pitching continues to get worse and the hitting remains listless, Kupchak will always be there to hesitate on a good trade and not listen to his superstar or common sense.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why I hate Barry Bonds

In light of my recent interview with National Public Radio from the right field bleachers in Dodger Stadium (to listen click here and then on the first link titled "Dodger Fans Weigh In on Barry Bonds") I'd like to outline some of the reasons why Barry Bonds does indeed represent "everything that's wrong with baseball, America, and the world."

1. Bonds is a cheater. Granted a lot of other baseball players used steroids and HGH but a lot of people in the 80s used cocaine and that didn't make it OK.
2. He pretended he didn't know that the cream or the clear were steroids. Riiiight. And I didn't realize there was any alcohol in that vodka.
3. He's an arrogant jerk. At a picnic for the Giants' families, Bonds asked the son of one player who his favorite player was. "My dad he responded."
"Why your dad," Bonds asked. "He doesn't even play."
4. He hasn't been found guilty in the court of law but neither was OJ. Sometimes the court of law doesn't tell the truth. Sometimes good lawyers or the terminology of the law make justice difficult if not downright impossible.
5. Because according to Game of Shadows "
On most mornings in Scottsdale, before leaving to work out, Bonds would grab his "man bag,"which was full of what seemed to be medications, and summon (Greg) Anderson. "I've got to go talk to him for a minute," Bonds would say, and then the two men would go into the master bedroom and close the door."
6. Anderson, Bonds trainer and "friend" sits in jail because Bonds won't relieve him by telling the truth.
7. Bonds isn't just a cheater on the field, he's a cheater off the field.
Game of Shadows: "He put his hand around (mistress [Kim Bell's] throat, pressed her against the wall, and whispered, "If you ever f-----' pull some s--- like that again I'll kill you, do you understand me?"

Later, Bonds told her: "You have to do something for me. You need to disappear."

"What do you mean?" Bell said. "For how long?"

"Did I f----- stutter?" Bonds replied.
8. The notion that people should cheer Bonds for breaking the record is ridiculous. Why should people cheer for the holder of the most cherished record in sports to be a tainted, ungrateful person.
9. Lastly, Bonds is a Giant and an ASU Sun Devil, so if the other reasons aren't enough to realize he's a bad person, that seals the deal.