Roses are Brown for Lakers

Here's the good news: The Lakers won't have to play a game in the playoffs at the Rose Garden. For them, the Rose Garden smells like shit. They've lost six straight in Portland, a place where Lakers defense is prohibited.

Here's the solution: LA teams combine. The Lakers take the Dodgers defense, and the Dodgers take the Lakers offense. Rafael Furcal could be the Lakers shut down defender and Kobe can hit jacks. That's the only way to fix the Lakers porous defense and the Dodgers impotent offense. I mean, it's not like Andruw Jones is going to be much help.

Yeah, he's getting paid a lot of money. Yeah, he used it at Carl's Jr., Fatburger, and Greasy Tony's in the offseason. Yeah, he's fat. No, he can't hit a lick.

Andruw Watch:
Tuesday: 1-3, 1k
Season 4-29, 9ks BA: .103
=
Goooooood

Currently, the Lakers are the No. 3 seed in the West, which means potential matchups with the Suns in the first round, the Spurs in the second round, and the Hornets in the Conference Finals. In other words, the Lakers can't do any worse than getting the No. 3 seed.

Calling Trevor Ariza and Andrew Bynum:

Um... guys we need you. We have Vlad Radmanovic trying to guard Brandon Roy. Gary Vitti, we need your help.

As always, an updated Lakers +/- (through 78 games) Lakers: 53-25 3rd in West

Fisher +320
Kobe +560
Turiaf +92
Odom +404
Gasol +245
Mihm -14
Walton +181
Bynum +238
Farmar +215
Radmanovic +326
Brown -44
Vujacic +112
Crittenton -40
Karl +8
Ariza +5
Mbenga +18
Newble 0

Up next: at LA Clippers Thursday 7:30 p.m. PST TNT