Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Kill Brian Westbrook Volume 1

I'm glad I've had work this week to occupy my mind, because if I didn't I would either be murdering Brian Westbrook or committing suicide.
There are no words for what Brian Westbrook did to me and other fantasy owners who saw their championship hopes dashed thanks to the dumbest decision in fantasy sports history.

Devastation is not what happens in floods, earthquakes, or other natural disasters. Devastation is when
you have the best team in your league, get a first round bye, and then lose in the semifinals by 3.8 points when your star player decides not to score a td and stop at the 1 yard line.
He has to be
the only NFL player to ever commit this egregious act in the NFL's history.

Just in case you don't know what happened. Philadelphia Eagles running back Brian Westbrook took a handoff from the 25 yard line with his team up 10-6 over the Dallas Cowboys and a little over two minutes remaining, then proceeded to intentionally fall down at the one yard line so his team could run out the clock.

(Notice the video title is selfless Brian Westbrook when it should read Selfish Brian Westbrook)

Touchdowns in our league are worth six points. In my two week semifinal matchup against my old college roommate Duff, I ended up losing by 3.8 points.

I was shocked, saddened, disappointed, angry, vindictive. If you are a poker player, it would be like having pocket aces against a guy who had a 5, 6 off suite and went all in blind at the Final Table at the World Series of Poker. Then the flop comes and you get another ace, only to have the guy get a 7 on the third card of the flop and then runner 8, runner 9 to beat you. You'd never forget it. As good as Westbrook was for my team this year, I'll never forget that play and what it caused.

I have only one explanation for his actions. He's the first player to point shave for a fantasy game. I mean, all the evidence points to that being the case. Duff lives in Vegas so he has access to the major players in the gambling industry. Westbrook was told by a big white guy not to run into the end zone (Jon Runyan).
The Eagles were not favored and thus had already covered the spread since they were winning, so that nixes the gambling on the game theory.

In a league where the Patriots run up the score by passing with 38 point leads, there's no way an NFL player would just stop short of scoring a touchdown. Where are Jeremy Schapp and Rachel Nichols. There needs to be an E60 report on this ASAP.
Where is the loyalty from Westbrook to my team? What could have possibly been going through his mind? He had to be in fear for his life. I demand an investigation.

And then also: The intrigue of the stache

From Paul Shirley's blog: The former NBA journeyman discusses the power of the stache.

"...Next, I made my most important stop of the night. I walked over and inspected a teammate's new mustache.

Marko Marinovic and I had discussed mustaches the day before. It is my dream to play for a team whose players will each agree to grow a mustache. In our discussion, Marko had said he was thinking about shaving his facial hair, leaving only the aforementioned facial accessory. I enthusiastically encouraged him to do so; I had been contemplating how best to broach the conversation with the group. Since my shaving habits had been aping Gandalf's for a while, I pledged to follow Marko into the mustache pool, thinking that two would be a good start to a team full of Wyatt Earps.

I was pleased to see that he had followed through. But now we needed to win. No one would get on the mustache wagon if it was perceived as bringing bad luck...

Marko made the free throw. We won. The crowd went berserk. The other team looked around in disbelief. We lifted Marko into the air like he was a boxer. He forgot to point at his mustache. Oh well. Perfect nights are hard to come by."

Remember when I questioned whether any team would sign the players named in the Mitchell Report.
Well the Dodgers answered that question quickly. They signed admitted HGH user Gary Bennett to be their backup catcher.

No word yet on whether they're also trying to trade for Eric Gagne.

Catch up on High School Hoops:
My Daily News recaps of the San Fernando Valley Invitational

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